Saturday, October 6

A Voice



There is a voice in my head, which is too loud to ignore, too strong to my ears, an intolerable position of kind, that which has became an absolute nuisance to my consciousness.

The agitating creature who lives in mind, every now and then shouts out loud: “I don’t fit in with my own-Iranian-Community, just as I don’t feed in with my Canadian-community, Where the Fuck Should I Stand?”, and I, who is far beyond being in control of that “inquiring mind”, am left with no option but to find something to shut the voice up! And to be honset with you, I have to admit that I am quite helpless in that regard; “there is no point in shutting it up, one has to find an answer of kind,” that’s my-rational-response to that agitating voice’s inquiring. And I go along with that voice, because it is mine.




katayoun

6 comments:

RoxieAmerica said...

You are who you are; unique and one-of-a-kind. There has never been another creation quite like you, nor shall their ever be a creation quite like you.

Trying to fit yourself into groups can be like trying shove a large square peg through a small round hole -- it will only exhaust you.

Be yourself, whatever that self may be. Define yourself, how you wish to be defined. Live life as you believe; not as others believe you should live.

Put your expectations in line with reality, for greatness sometimes comes late in life. The founder of the Kentucky Fried Chicken chain did not begin creating his chain until he was 62 years old. P.T. Barnum did not begin the circus he is famous for until he was 65 years old. Please remember these things when you judge yourself and others. No one can predict your future, not even you.

People that "fit-in" rarely excel. Fulton, who invented the steamboat was taunted by people calling his attempt "Fulton's folly." Thomas Edison failed over and over and over again before inventing the light bulb. NASA officials believed Apollo 13 was going to be disaster, but Gene Kranz believed it would NASA's finest hour.

Life is far too short to permit others to define us or to force our delightful creative selves into the holes of life others have created.

Babak said...

I also have that voice. It is real. I decided not to resist it.

I am at times listening to that voice just to see what has to say. By doing this, I have found out its lack of substance and purpose. That little but loud voice is very manipulator too. It also aims to control my emotion.

I am watching that voice.

For you to smile

katayoun said...

Dear RoxieAmerica:

I would be glad to claim to know "who I am", yet "I" am uncertain of the degree this "being" is developing into something that is rather painful to my own "self".
But I can see your point, and actually, I have no problem being "me" only if I could throughly get to know that damned creature whom resides in my mind.
I thank you for your encouraging, friendly words that brightened my day.

-----

Dear Babak:

I think this "anomie" from which I have been suffering lately, is the mental pain due to my "existential" condition. I 100% agree with you on thet point that the irritating voice is such a devil in disguise, and can be extremely manipulative.
I am "watching that voice too". I think it is only wise to put it under one's thumb!

Hope this short answer has satisfiede your quest for putting a smile on my face.

thank you very much, for you, like the rest of my viewers, have the aptitude for being who you are and sharing it with us.

katayoun

saggezard said...

I believe it is normal for any people of diaspora to feel the way you do. It is a feeling of being suspended between your worlds, Iran and Canada. Have you noticed that there are a expressions, anecdotes or stories that you hear during contacts from both cultures which do not have any clear meaning to you, if so it is because you missed many folkloric stories from kindergarten to adolescence that you may have not been exposed to due to geography, language barriers or simple familial interaction. In reality though this sort of shift you are experiencing is the source of a very rich cultural outcome present currently in the new world (Americas).

katayoun said...

Dear Yellowdog:

I see this agony as a sign of "maturity and gaining wisdom"(hopefully) with respect to my own capacity of mind. I just thought that to reveal a little of what is going on in my mind, to my viewer, would open a certain dialogue, which it had.

thanks for your thoughts.

saggezard said...

You'll like this one:
http://www.justout.com/pt/blog/default.aspx?id=3584&t=Iranian-President-Mahmoud-Ahmadinejad-Re